shamblingshitpickle:

shakypigment:

Viktor Vasnetsov - The princess who never smiled

and why would she

look at all this bullshit she’s putting up with

Soldiers, Sailors and Airmen of the Allied Expeditionary Force!

You are about to embark upon the Great Crusade, toward which we have striven these many months. The eyes of the world are upon you. The hopes and prayers of liberty-loving people everywhere march with you.

notyourfriendlyfeminist:

rgfellows:

dandraco:

hollyoakhill:

do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared

All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.

The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.

And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life.
(Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)

At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.

This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.

This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.

And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."

And then there is this:

Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.

And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.

And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.

TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.

YO. ALL OF THIS^. Michelangelo was hella grumpy all of the time. It was fantastic.

However, as beautiful as this commentary is, I’m gonna make a little correction. The Pope isn’t the one in hell getting his balls bitten; that guy is actually the Papal Minister of Ceremonies a the time, Biagio de Cesena. 

See, when Michelangelo was painting this, as you said, lots of people were uncomfortable with all of the nudity (especially because the Last Judgement [back wall mural] was painted much later when nudity in religious art was even more controversial than before), but the dude who was the angriest was de Cesena. 

He was so angry that he reportedly burst in on Michelangelo while he was working (which is already a big no-no because Michelangelo’s requirements for working were mostly “fuck the hell off and leave me alone or else I quit and I will stab you in the eye with my paintbrush/chisel”.). He then proceeds to tell Michelangelo that this fresco is disgusting and obscene and shame on him etc etc. He also referred to it as “i stui di nudi”, which means “A stew of nudes” which is one of the best descriptions of a thing ever, if you ask me. 

So Michelangelo, probably on the cusp of homicide is like “Thank you for the notes. Now get the fuck out,” and de Cesena reluctantly does. 

Later, he comes to see the finished product and finds that Michelangelo had painted his portrait down in Hell to represent the Minos, King of the Dead. He has the ears of an ass and the above described crotch biting snake:

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Upon seeing this and being enraged, de Cesena went to the Pope to demand that it be changed and that Michelangelo be punished. However, the Pope was SO incredibly done dealing with Michelangelo’s snark, tantrums, and general hatred of the world and everyone in it, that he didn’t want to do shit. 

The Pope’s response to him was literally to say “As Pope, I have a lot of influence on Earth and up in Heaven, but I have no jurisdiction in Hell. You’re shit out of luck.” 

And it stayed.

Michelangelo, grade A artist, snark master, and professional dick.

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observancesofabird

Just thought I’d add my two cents…

From what I’ve learned, Michelangelo didn’t actually lie on his back while painting. He constructed a scaffolding that could hold the workers (Michelangelo didn’t paint the whole Sistine Chapel alone, he had assistants!***) and the tools. The scaffolding mimicked the curves of the ceiling and he had to often paint in awkward positions. It wasn’t comfortable either but he didn’t lie on his back.

Also, Michelangelo was primarily a sculptor, which is partly why painting the chapel took over four years (and the reason why he didn’t want to take on the project in the first place). He was forced to learn fresco-painting, and he worked in buon fresco - a technique that is difficult to maintain because the pictures have to be painted fast and without mistakes. The paint dries quickly and soaks into the wall, which makes the frescoes incredibly durable. Fresco-secco in comparison is an easier technique because it allows for mistakes and slower progress, but the paint flakes off easily. I think it says a lot about his integrity as an artist that he chose buon fresco as his technique.

The other reason for the slow progress *and* a big reason for his annoyance with the Pope was that he didn’t get paid for his work on time. The Pope was busy waging wars and then being so ill everyone thought he would die.

______________

***He wasn’t a solitary Grinch who chased away everyone while he painted. He needed assistants for the project, and while they didn’t do much more than helping with the paint mixing and preparing the plaster and occasionally painting a small strip of sky or a small figure, there were constantly others working with him and for him.

You can read a bit more about these things from here and here for example.

lilylilymine:

likeafieldmouse:

Gustave Caillebotte - The Floor Scrapers (1875-6)

Original on top, later version below

"Despite the effort Caillebotte put into the painting, it was rejected by France’s most prestigious art exhibition, The Salon, in 1875. The depiction of working-class people in their trade, not fully clothed, shocked the jurors and was deemed a ‘vulgar subject matter.’ 

The images of the floor scrapers came to be associated with Degas’s paintings of washerwomen, also presented at the same exhibition and similarly scorned as ‘vulgar’”.

beautiful.

derinthemadscientist:

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And non-fetishised lesbians…

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And respected sex workers…

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And ‘bad’ mothers who are given the same chances at redemption that their male counterparts usually are…

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and foster families that aren’t treated as “substitute” families…

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and adopted families that aren’t treated as “replacement” families…

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and non-stereotyped transmen…

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and victims who refuse to be defined by their abuse…

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and have them all be vitally important characters…

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markruffalo:

mamalaz:

The Avengers as a Monster-Slaying OUAT Fantasy Show


Never stop making these. They’re great.


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